And another one …

Posted in jokes on April 27th, 2006 by darkskye

One dark night outside a small town near Poulsbo,Washington, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, “All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact.”
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company’s secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone’s amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides.
It was a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, “What are you going to do with all that money?”
“Vell,” said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, “Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!”

Beer me!

The first of many bad jokes …

Posted in jokes on April 27th, 2006 by darkskye

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.
“You know,” he says, “I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let’s talk.”
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, “What would you like to discuss?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” says the guy, smiling. “How about nuclear power?”
“OK,” says the blonde. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff — grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?”
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, “I haven’t the slightest idea.”
“So tell me,” says the blonde, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”

Beer me!

Oops I did it again … Again!

Posted in personal, stuff on April 20th, 2006 by darkskye

This time skynet got the amd64 treatment, it was a bit of a messy upgrade but all is well again.

Copyright (c) 1992-2006 The FreeBSD Project.
Copyright (c) 1979, 1980, 1983, 1986, 1988, 1989, 1991, 1992, 1993, 1994
The Regents of the University of California. All rights reserved.
FreeBSD 5.5-PRERELEASE #0: Thu Apr 20 05:35:50 BST 2006
root@skynet.asgard.jara23.co.uk:/usr/obj/usr/src/sys/SKYNET
ACPI APIC Table:
Timecounter “i8254″ frequency 1193182 Hz quality 0
CPU: AMD Sempron(tm) Processor 3000+ (1808.26-MHz K8-class CPU)
Origin = “AuthenticAMD” Id = 0x20fc2 Stepping = 2
Features=0x78bfbff OV,PAT,PSE36,CLFLUSH,MMX,FXSR,SSE,SSE2>
Features2=0×1
AMD Features=0xe2500800,LM,3DNow+,3DNow>
real memory = 536805376 (511 MB)
avail memory = 506335232 (482 MB)
ioapic0 irqs 0-23 on motherboard
acpi0: on motherboard
acpi0: Power Button (fixed)
Timecounter “ACPI-fast” frequency 3579545 Hz quality 1000
acpi_timer0: <24-bit timer at 3.579545MHz> port 0×4008-0x400b on acpi0
cpu0: on acpi0
acpi_button0: on acpi0
pcib0: port 0xcf0-0xcf3,0xcf8-0xcff on acpi0
pci0:
on pcib0
isab0: at device 1.0 on pci0
isa0: on isab0
pci0: at device 1.1 (no driver attached)
ohci0: mem 0xfebff000-0xfebfffff irq 22 at devic
e 2.0 on pci0
usb0: OHCI version 1.0, legacy support
usb0:
on ohci0
usb0: USB revision 1.0
uhub0: nVidia OHCI root hub, class 9/0, rev 1.00/1.00, addr 1
uhub0: 4 ports with 4 removable, self powered
ohci1:
mem 0xfebfe000-0xfebfefff irq 21 at devic
e 2.1 on pci0
usb1: OHCI version 1.0, legacy support
usb1:
on ohci1
usb1: USB revision 1.0
uhub1: nVidia OHCI root hub, class 9/0, rev 1.00/1.00, addr 1
uhub1: 4 ports with 4 removable, self powered
pci0: at device 2.2 (no driver attached)
atapci0: port 0xfb00-0xfb0f,0×376,0×170-
0×177,0x3f6,0x1f0-0x1f7 at device 8.0 on pci0
ata0: channel #0 on atapci0
ata1: channel #1 on atapci0
pcib1: at device 11.0 on pci0
pci1:
on pcib1
pci1: at device 0.0 (no driver attached)
pcib2: at device 14.0 on pci0
pci2:
on pcib2
fxp0: port 0xdf00-0xdf3f mem 0xfeac0000-0xfeadfff
f,0xfeaff000-0xfeafffff irq 19 at device 7.0 on pci2
miibus0: on fxp0
inphy0: on miibus0
inphy0: 10baseT, 10baseT-FDX, 100baseTX, 100baseTX-FDX, auto
fxp0: Ethernet address: xx:xx:xx:xx:xx:xx
pcib3: at device 10.0 on pci2
pci3:
on pcib3
sym0: <875> port 0xcc00-0xccff mem 0xfe9fe000-0xfe9fefff,0xfe9ff000-0xfe9ff0ff i
rq 18 at device 4.0 on pci3
__sym_calloc2: failed to allocate HCB[4288]
device_attach: sym0 attach returned 6
pcn0: port 0xcf00-0xcf1f mem 0xfe9fd000-0xfe9fd01f
irq 19 at device 5.0 on pci3
miibus1: on pcn0
lxtphy0: on miibus1
lxtphy0: 100baseFX, 100baseFX-FDX, 10baseT, 10baseT-FDX, 100baseTX, 100baseTX-F
DX, auto
pcn0: Ethernet address: xx:xx:xx:xx:xx:xx
pcn0: if_start running deferred for Giant
acpi_tz0: on acpi0
fdc0: port 0x3f7,0x3f0-0x3f5 irq 6 drq 2 on acpi0
sio0: <16550A-compatible COM port> port 0x3f8-0x3ff irq 4 flags 0×10 on acpi0
sio0: type 16550A
ppc0: port 0×778-0x77b,0×378-0x37f irq 7 on acp
i0
ppc0: Generic chipset (NIBBLE-only) in COMPATIBLE mode
ppbus0: on ppc0
lpt0: on ppbus0
lpt0: Interrupt-driven port
ppi0: on ppbus0
atkbdc0: port 0×64,0×60 irq 1 on acpi0
atkbd0: flags 0×1 irq 1 on atkbdc0
kbd0 at atkbd0
orm0: at iomem 0xcc000-0xcd7ff on isa0
sc0: at flags 0×100 on isa0
sc0: VGA <16 virtual consoles, flags=0×300>
sio1: configured irq 3 not in bitmap of probed irqs 0
sio1: port may not be enabled
vga0: at port 0x3c0-0x3df iomem 0xa0000-0xbffff on isa0
ugen0: THOMSON Speed Touch 330, rev 1.10/4.00, addr 2
Timecounter “TSC” frequency 1808256801 Hz quality 800
Timecounters tick every 1.000 msec
Fast IPsec: Initialized Security Association Processing.
ipfw2 initialized, divert enabled, rule-based forwarding enabled, default to den
y, logging unlimited
ad0: 39205MB [79656/16/63] at ata0-master UDMA133
ad2: 38166MB [77545/16/63] at ata1-master UDMA100
acd0: CDROM at ata1-slave PIO4

FreeBSD skynet.asgard.jara23.co.uk 5.5-PRERELEASE FreeBSD 5.5-PRERELEASE #0: Thu Apr 20 05:35:50 BST 2006 root@skynet.asgard.jara23.co.uk:/usr/obj/usr/src/sys/SKYNET amd64

Beer me!